The fourth is “acts of service,” by which we demonstrate our love by accomplishing tasks that we know will assist our partner and make their life easier or more enjoyable. Sometimes the easiest way to express this is with a physical gift that can act as a tangible symbol of love. All love is essentially an act of gift-giving. The third love language, “receiving gifts,” is the easiest to learn fluently. While some may feel that the act of being together is not enough, one’s time is invaluable and a commodity that can never be regained. The second is “quality time,” wherein one feels most loved by the simple act of spending time together.

The first love language is “words of affirmation,” using our words to regularly affirm and encourage our spouse in the things they are good at or for which they need support. These languages are especially important when we move past the euphoric feelings of love that characterize the start of any romantic attachment. The love languages are the means by which we fill our spouse’s emotional tank and assure them of our continued and lasting love. These problems could be solved (or at least softened) by employing the love languages with sincerity.Īt the start, Chapman provides the working metaphor that will appear throughout the text: the emotional tank that we use to bank the love we receive from our spouse. The last five chapters make up the final section of the text, synthesizing the material that came before and addressing a number of obstacles that could occur within marriage. The second section comprises the next five chapters, each of which discuss one of the five love languages in detail and use examples of real couples to illustrate practical implications of theoretical principles.

The first three chapters make up the introduction, laying out fundamentals. The book is divided into three major sections. Throughout The Five Love Languages, Chapman aims to answer a single question: “why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to keeping love alive after the wedding?” (14).

The 5 love languages by gary chapman